Pure Perfection

Hello individuals of the world how are you lovely people doin? Just wanted to give ya a clue on what's goin on in my life. Met this new dude who is pure perfection at this point. I can be myself with him and I can tell him anything in confidence and know that he will understand. Slowly but surely I'm letting my guard down and will hopefully be able to love him like he deserves. My prayers have been answered and he has delivered me this wonderful, understanding and passive individual that is going to love me for me. It makes me feel at such ease to know that he is the way he is and he came at the most perfect part in my life. Pure Perfection is what he shall be called<3

I just want...

Ok... I've been doing good with my revise mode, but in my head I can't help but to keep thinking about all the things I want. I want a nigga to care, to love, to hug, to kiss, to cuddle with, to confide in when I'm stressin', to talk to when I'm sad and even when I'm happy. I've just been alone basically my whole life and sometimes I just wish that there was someone there, someone I can lean on. I carry the whole world on my shoulders and sometimes I just want someone....

Revise mode

Ok... I know I've said this before that I'm done with Mr. Yeah and I'm not going back, and other times I have not kept to my word, but this time I'm truly done. I've hit rock bottom in my book, letting dudes run my life and control my emotions. That's just not me. Imma give you guys a little bit of an update, Mr. Yeah and me like to play these stupid power trip games to see who is willing to do what for who... it's always fun when I'm winning but sucks when I'm loosing. Mr. Yeah isn't the only dude stressin' my brain, its a lot of dudes who seem to be sweet but then turn out to be vagina hunting whores lmao. I'm tired of attracting dudes who just want to get it in and that's it. I want something more meaningful, not a relationship per say but an agreement that he wants to get to know me for me and I want to get to know him for him. Be together without the stresses of a title you know? But I'm on a revise type stage with myself. I'm not feeling like the old me and thinking that this is contributing to the slut attraction problem (lol). I need to go on Miss Solo Dolo time and focus on the people who are here for me not my punani. Stop the drugs and the alcohol and focus on my health and my attitude, be more social and more open to those who are trying to get to know me. I'm on revise mode...

Neurotic much?

Hello world, back once again from being entrapped in my thoughts. But right now at this moment I'm feeling all types of funky...I'm lost within in thoughts and feelings. I feel one way but I'm thinking another. I have noticed that men is the root of my destruction. Especially if it is one that I have feelings for, I start doubting myself and getting all types of insecure. I mean I know that I have some insecurities, but overall I am pretty confident in myself to get any type of job done. (lol dirtyness going on in my head) But when it comes to a dude that I really like and I can't tell if he's feeling me the same way I get all types of messed up, like you would think I belong in a white padded room type pschyo, I believe that the roomie called it neurotic lol. This is exactly how this boy makes me feel, neurotic, flustered, and I can never stop thinking when I'm around him. This can't be healthy, I think I'm going to drive myself insane...

Weak

Hello everyone, I just wanna talk about the problem that I'm having that I'm sure many people have. Where you just have that one person who has power over you, that when they are good, they are so good and you just can't break away. And even when they are bad you still can't hope that you would be the one to make it better. Here I am melting in his hands again. I don't know what it is that makes me want him to give me attention. I don't want it to be any of those stupid games that we all play as a generation. That "Oh I still got it" or "I have her/him wrapped around my finger". I really don't want it to be that and something deep down is telling me that it is. But then again since he has somewhat of this power over me it make me just want to investigate, to take the chance and see what it is. This is unlike me, I can't have a dude run my thoughts, its just not right for me. My wrist says strength for a reason I can't just let him take it all away and leave me weak...