Take Every Word with a Grain of Salt

I think the world is turning upside down. I had the most amazing conversation with Mr.Yeah yesterday. Getting to know him is awesome but then on the other hand part of me feels like he has another agenda. It could be my mind leading me elsewhere with unimportant thoughts. My first reaction to all of it was happiness, that "YES! I'm finally being noticed for the effort I put to build a friendship/ connection with him" but then the other half of me is like "What if he's just trying to prove some point that he has me wrapped around his finger?" One of my good friends put my mind into perspective last night she said to me, " That's great Xio, but just in case, TAKE EVERY WORD WITH A GRAIN OF SALT." So that is the mission to take every nice thing he says with just a tad bit of salt... Just to make sure what he says is true...

Love Song

Hey everyone, I'm back in school now so I'm just trying to get my stuff together, hence why I haven't been posting. The hot topic for me today is love songs. For the record I do not want a relationship anytime soon but would definitely love to have a guy or girl care for me as much as they sing about in love songs. Half the time I have to second guess what these singers and rappers are saying because I have not discovered not one person who has those type of feelings for another person. I feel as if I live in this fantasy world when I listen to these songs envisioning some person singing those words to me and expressing the fact that they couldn't live their life without me. Ehhhhh something I think about from time to time when I listen to my music, close my eyes and fall into a love song of my own. The only problem is the song isn't forever I eventually have to open my eyes and realize that there is no one there. That he/she hasn't found me yet, to go back to the struggles of life alone. I don't care for titles, that boyfriend/girlfriend shit because I've realized that it just complicates situations by having to live up to the connotations that go with it. All I could ever want is for someone to care and love me for all of me, my imperfections, as well as for what I have to offer... My Love Song

My Moment

So today I had my moment, my moment to take an emotional stand over the power that Mr. Yeah had over me. The situation played out as follows: He texted me regarding the fact that I had been ignoring him and that basically if I was going to continue to ignore him that I should return his keys. Contemplating the situation, I went back in forth in my thoughts should I just give the keys back or should I feed back into the game. My decision was clear, I wasn't going to feed back into the game. So I went to his house gave him the keys without saying a word and left. I really didn't expect him to come after me and actually ask me if there was anything up but he did, I said no, to later text him and say, "I want what I can't have so I have so I have to cut you off for a bit."
The thing with this statement is that he is automatically going to assume that I wanted a relationship from him. Which is definitely not the case, what I wanted from him was attention and for him to show he cared if he really did care. I knew that would never happen so I had to take a stand, and have my moment to declare that I am not going to be a part of your game, you will not have my heart, and I will not let you have that power over me. It was fun while it lasted and hopefully one day we can be friends without the complications or the awkwardness. All I know is he can think what he wants, feel how he wants (if he feels anything), I had my moment... time to move on.

Trick or Treat

To start off I've been lost in my thoughts and actions once again, as well as couldn't remember what my password was for this thing lol. But I titled this blog trick or treat because that is exactly what our generations dating game has turned into. First of all it's not even dating anymore, it's more how long is it gunna take for me to get into this female's pants. There is no real emotion behind it anymore.In most situations it's the boys manipulating the emotions of the female, and when the female has had enough of that she then becomes the manipulator and thought of to be heartless.
To get in more detail Mr. Yeah has lost his title in my eyes, he WAS my friend but since the whole relation thing took more precedent to him, he manipulated my emotions making everything complicated, in my world at least. I woke up from my little fantasy world, thinking that maybe if I was sweet enough, kind enough it would get him to think of me more than just a sex symbol. I gave him the treat and he retaliated by the trick.
This is what females really need to pay attention to, the players of the game. The guys who really don't give a fuck about you, but they are sure damn good at pretending. When you've finally had enough from that ex boyfriend or ex fuck buddy and have moved on and have almost forgot about him you receive the text or phone call:
Boy: Hey I just wanted to see how you were doing
You: I'm fine (in the most angriest tone you could think of)
Boy: Ok well I don't wanna bother you just wanted to say hi
And then you have your moment of weakness thinking, "Maybe he's changed, Maybe he realized what he lost" WRONG it's a trick and the treat is knowing that he has the power over you and he has your heart. Well I'm done with that game, FUCK YOUR TRICK OR TREAT!